Nigerian men do not know the definition of the word "No"

Married or single, Nigerian men do not know the definition of the word "No". In fact when they hear the word it makes them try even harder to turn the no into a yes. Take for example as a copper, at my PPA (Primary Place of Assignment for all you non-corpers), one doctor has made it clear that he has cheated on his wife before and presented me with the opportunity to be the next mistress. As disgusted as I am by his adulterous intentions, if I want to stay in good graces with the hope of being retained after my service year, then I must continue to smile at him and laugh at his stupid jokes. Maneuvering an alpha male-dominated society is no easy task. 

Even walking down a street can be treacherous terrain. Men grab your arm and as you violently shake them off, they laugh and move along to the next fine babe/gal/sweetheart. Sometimes they will follow you into the cab even after you've said no to giving them your number. The only option at that point is to lie, "I no get phone" which they typically do not believe since I have an unfortunate American accent which apparently equates to having plenty dollars. When that lie does not work, then I go for "my boyfriend wouldn't like that" to which they typically respond "So what, we can still be friends" or the badder guys will puff up their chests and ask "Weytin concern me?".The last resort is to tell them that if its God's will for us to see again, then we will see. That one typically gets them to leave me alone...afterall who can argue against God's will? 

If the guy is a friend of a friend or insists that you give him your number because he gave you a free ride or he bought you a snack, that is when you pull out a fake number. I typically just switch the last two digits in my actual phone number, that way if I ever see him again and he cries about me giving him the wrong contact, then I can look at the number I gave him and say 'noooo, the number is correct, see you just switched the last two digits ah ahn!' 

There are so many variations of my own experiences out there, comment below about how you navigated a situation where "No" did not mean "No" to a Nigerian man. 

BY Eni.