Getting The Right Partner

These days, men always say it is hard to find a Christian girl to date or marry. The girls also say the same thing "husbands are scarce". And I ask myself, “Have they taken the place of fuel?” I was having an interaction with some ladies and I asked them the type of men they wish to marry. They all had different views. Some said they would love God fearing men, some others rich and handsome men and some others said they would prefer tall, muscular and smart guys. I asked some guys what they think about Christian girls. They said they are hard to find, and even the ones you will see around are all fake and desperate.

But i hear couples chuckle about how they met their partners through God's revelations, dreams, and pastor’s confirmation or through church activities. The Bible says “He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from God.” It means that your partner is not someone you see just anywhere. Nobody is saying it will be hard before you find your spouse, but you will have to look beyond the distractions and noise out there for you to listen to that one voice and that is the hard part.


I always believed that everybody that goes to church is an eligible Bachelor or Spinster. So the options are many and easy to choose. How can we have so many men going to church and yet the women complain that husbands are scarce? Or how can we have numerous number of women going to church, attend various programs and the likes, yet the men complain that the women are fake?. I tried to understand this, and I realized that we all want more than just going to church. Everyone is looking for something special and different in the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. But one thing I realized we don’t know is, for us to see such qualities in others, we have to have them in us; because the way we expect our partners-to-be to have them, is the same way they expect us to possess such virtues too.

I was speaking with a guy sometime ago, and he said that his fiancée cheated on him with his friend. He called her all sorts of degrading names and concluded that he was no longer interested. When I asked him why she cheated on him, he said it was because he cheated on her previously, but he apologized and expected the lady to forgive him. I asked him, “if she had cheated on you first, would you forgive her?” He became speechless.

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her." (MAYA ANGELOU)



- OLACHI BLESSING AMAH (OBA)